Sunday, December 18, 2011

Peace on Earth, and Good will toward men

In an effort to finally get into the "Christmas Spirit", I began listening to Christmas music and reading the story of Christ's birth. The word I have read and sang over and over is "peace". It got me thinking about our world and the lack of peace in the everyday life of the Christmas Season.
During the Christmas season we see the word "peace" everywhere, but one thing I've realized is how our culture has transformed Christmas to no longer be about peace and joy, but rather about moving quickly, buying loads of presents, and flipping each other off in the Wal-Mart parking lot. Super peaceful, huh?
Last night, I was forced into the mob of people shopping at the mall in order to finish shopping for my sister's Christmas present. I seriously wanted to cry I was so surrounded by gluttony and indulgence. People were fighting over the last necklace at Forever21, and babies were crying as their mothers dug through the piles of clearance items, arms too full to hold them. I was astonished. I thought Christmas was about "Good will toward men" not stomping on each others toes to get the last red sweater off the shelf.
What has happened to our world?
Strangely, my internship has been one of the most peaceful things in this time of the year. I really appreciate how calm and peaceful everything is on a daily basis. Yes, there are times when things get stressful, but most of the time, the church office is at peace with their work, with their life, and with their relationships with each other. This past week, instead of church life getting crazy, everything has slowed down. We aren't planning some extravagant Christmas service or any of that jazz, rather, we are just enjoying each other and the season all around us. With simplicity comes peace.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Be a kid.

In less that 4 months, I will be an adult. An official, legal, grown up. Scary, huh?
Since I was little, writing has been my outlet. I have dozens of journals filled with my thoughts, desires, heartbreaks, and overall growth. It's funny, looking back and reading the things I used to think and the ways I used to express myself and realize how completely dramatic and innocent I was. Honestly, I had no clue what I was doing, who I thought I was, or who I was going to be. Back in the day, I lived in the moment. I breathed the fresh air, and ran the streets of my neighborhood barefoot. There were no cares in the world. What happened to that little girl? The incredible truth is, she's still here.
Some of my friends constantly address my innocence. I get it, guys, I'm naive. I still blow bubbles in my chocolate milk, and play outside in the rain. What's wrong with that? I think, Nothing. I have 4 months to live it up. I have four months to run through the sprinklers, and ride in the shopping cart at Walmart. I have four months before the world tells me I have to have it all together. I have four months. Why not be free?
Freedom. It's the one thing every adolescent teenager wants. They tell their parents that all they want is to get their licence, move out of the house, buy their own car, live their own life, get married, have kids... grow up. Sorry to burst all the bubbles of those ready-to-be-free teenagers out there, but the time to be free is now.
As an official "child" I know the pressures of just being a kid. It's hard to live up to our parents expectations, do well in school, get all those fancy scholarships, and make the world believe that you are who you say you are. It's hard, and honestly, a lot of us kids are broken, battered, and bruised. But that shouldn't keep us from living our lives to the absolute fullest, having fun while we can, and living out our calling as young people. We are to set an example of playful, joyful, innocence.
Jesus told the adults to become more child-like, to be innocent, pure, trusting, full of joy and excitement, to be passionate, and to just be who we are, to just be who He made us to be. We're all just kids. I have four months until I'm expected to have it all together. But isn't having it all together overrated anyhow? To all those adults out there: stop worrying, stressing, trying to paint a pretty picture, because the truth is, everyone just wants to see the real you. Guaranteed, the real, honest, out-of-the-box you is probably a lot more fun, and a lot more attractive than the put together person we all seem to create for ourselves. Get out of the box. Be free. Be a kid.


Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Life on this side of a Calling

My life here in the States is a constant combination of mixed emotions. Waiting patiently; Bursting with excitement. Struggling with contentment; Perfectly happy and joyful. Praying for time to fly by; Cherishing every moment. Keeping busy; Staying calm. Crying out of fear; Crying out of excitement. Pushing people away; Pulling everyone closer. Learning; Teaching. Hurting; Rejoicing. The last few months have been crazy emotional. Most of the time I have it all together, but sometimes I break down for no apparent reason.
The other day I found myself doubled over in my closet crying over a pair of shorts. Shorts. No big deal, right? That’s what I thought until I was hanging them up at the back of my closet as I realized I wont be needing them any more. In Guatemala, women don’t wear shorts, and I wont be coming back to the States during the summers. Thus, my need for shorts as winter has approached is basically gone. The tears came.
You’re probably thinking something along the lines of “really, Andrea? They’re just shorts. Why does it matter?” But the thing is, with shorts, and all clothing really, is that I’ve become a little more than attached. I bought my shorts thinking, “these basically define my style, which basically defines me.” I live for the summers of short and Chaco wearing attire. It’s who I am, but then again, I’m also a missionary. I’m called to Guatemala, and shorts don’t matter. Living life within my calling will be a lot better than wearing my shorts. The tears stopped.
This, sadly, has been a regular thing for the past few months for myself, friends, and family alike, especially my mom. My mom and I will be sitting on the couch joking about the hideous clothes some celebrity is wearing or some stupid commercial, and all of a sudden I look over and she’s bawling, which automatically makes me tear up. We then start laughing because we are both crying. It’s comical actually. Sometimes I feel as if my life would make a very entertaining sitcom.
It’s these things, the little bits of my life that I take for granted that I am going to miss most of all as I travel away from home. I have been blessed with so much. My family and I have grown so much closer in the last year than ever. Maybe it’s just a coming of age thing, but for the first time I appreciate my family not just because of what they do for me, but because of who they are. My relationship with my brothers has grown dramatically over the past year, so much that I consider Garrett one of my best friends. He knows my life in a way nobody else ever could, and yet he loves me all the more for it. It’s beautiful, really. God knew what He was doing when he put me in the family he did. Thinking about leaving them is more than difficult, and I don’t think anyone other than a fellow missionary can understand what it’s like to give up everything I’ve ever known, yet the peace of the Lord is present, constantly. I am scared of the unknown life that is ahead of me, yet ready to take the dive.
In the meantime, I am doing my best to capture every little moment in anticipation for my journey to Guatemala. My heart is bursting with joy just thinking about it. I’ve been waiting a long time for this. I want it more than anything else. Yet I have a few more months to prepare, and soak up all the love I can get. I’m sure I’ll be crying about this in a few minutes, but as for now, I’m super pumped, and extremely excited to see what God has in store for me in both the preparation and the journey.



Sunday, November 27, 2011

Cliche, but true.

Thanksgiving. To be frank, it's not my favorite holiday. Every Thanksgiving I channel my inner hipster that says that I'm too cool to do the cliche, "I am so thankful for..." posts on facebook, and say thank you to God in my prayers even though I normally wouldn't. It seems... fake.  So when looking at this screen, I was determined to not be a part of the "let's give thanks because it's Thanksgiving clan". But, sadly, the truth is, that I don't say "thank you" enough. I unknowingly take a lot of things for granted. As Thanksgiving approached this year, I fell into this pool of self pity where I seemed to dwell more on who wouldn't be at Thanksgiving lunch, and the fact that it may be my last Thanksgiving in the States for a long time, that I almost dreaded Thanksgiving day. When the day came, though, I found myself surrounded by people who loved me more than I can imagine, and looking across the table at my grandma with tears running down her face out of pure and honest gratitude. I am more than thankful for them. I am blessed beyond words. I am amazed at God's grace, because Lord knows that I don't deserve the friends, family, and amazing opportunities that are constantly placed in front of me. I really am thankful.
I am thankful for my family, and their constant support. I am thankful for my calling to serve in Guatemala. I am thankful for the leaders that have continuously guided me in my relationship with Christ. I am thankful for my friends, that consistently light up my life. I am so very thankful for the city I live in. I am thankful for the country in which I was placed. I am thankful for Quik-Trip and apple cider. I am thankful for late nights at IHOP and friends who finish my sentences. I am thankful. I am blessed.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

He's Stronger

I could never do it on my own. Why did I think that I could now? Maybe I figured that because I was older, wiser, maybe, grown up, that I could handle the struggles of my best friends. Guide them to the right path, pull them out of the rut, all on my own. But the truth of the matter, is that my strength lapsed, and I fell down right with them. I had forgotten the strength of my Father. I had forgotten the comfort that comes through prayer. I had forgotten who He was. I couldn't do it without Him. It hurt too much. I wasn't strong enough.
Every morning, I wake up and tell myself that today I am going to take on the world; I am going to learn, grow, live and do. But the truth of the matter is that I can't do any of that without my Savior. I'm just a kid. As a child, God put this passion in my heart to help people and to serve, but my human nature has twisted this passion into a desperate need to be needed. Recently, this need has come back to bite me.
One of my best friends has been struggling in many aspects, and me being who I am, I tried to take it on all by myself. I would mention God, talk about His love, and what He did in my life, but never actually ask Him for help. I was doing it all on my own. I don't know why it was surprising to me that my methods of love weren't working. My best friend was drowning, and I was heartbroken. Why wasn't God helping? Where was He? The pain of taking it all on was burying me in resentment, anger and despair. I couldn't handle the pressure of doing it on my own. It hurt. I was damaging myself and, consequently, not helping my friend heal. I was furthering his pain and adding to his stress. My friend, Jason, needed me. But what he and I both needed was the comfort and peace that only our God can bring. A comfort and peace that are much bigger than us and our issues. He wont give us anything we can't handle. After weeks, maybe months of taking it all on on my own, I came to the startling realization that I was failing. My help was nothing without God. I couldn't do it anymore. I was a fool. My strength had lapsed, and all that was left was my desperate need for a Savior. My need for productivity led to loads of damages. Jason and I both needed restoration. We needed our glasses refilled. We needed Jesus. It was when the truth finally came out, and both Jason and I started relying on the Truth that things began to change. For the first time in a long time, there was hope, joy, peace. We could finally drag ourselves out of the facade that we had put ourselves in and heal, together, through Christ.
The very night that I laid all my struggles, all Jason's struggles, all my fear, all my anger, at the foot of the cross was the night that healing began. I was lost in the need to help. God was waiting, he knew. That night, I prayed that my stupidity would be used for the glory of God, and incredibly, despite my absolute ridiculousness, God was still working. I am constantly amazed at how God uses us, broken, stupid, and completely human as we are. I don't deserve His mercy. I don't deserve His grace, hope, or peace. I've messed it up a million times, yet he uses me. I am completely undeserving. I am humbled. I am at peace. I am growing. And I will never understand why He chose me. But he did.

Monday, November 14, 2011

He's Here

Movies, they're my thing. I love them. I could spend days sitting in a dark theatre, eating popcorn, and running away to a world of talking animals, concrete jungles, or enchanted forests. I love movies, I love the escape, I love being a part another's life, falling in love with the characters, and watching people fall in and out of love. It's beautiful really.
In the past few years, Christian movies such as Fireproof, To Save a Life, and Soul Surfer have hit the big screens. These movies are all clear portrayals of Christ in a film setting, but it's the movies that aren't seemingly "Christian" where I think God can show up in incredible ways. There are tons of films that are centered around the theme of restoration and coming into the light at the end of a really dark tunnel. It's amazing how much credit can be given to one human being for recovering from drugs, getting off the streets, or what have you, when really God is right at the center of the story. God is present, and is moving in the lives of the people on screen and off.
Our world right now, this generation, has a very large focus on restoration, helping the poor, serving, saving the planet, etc. Do you not think that God is glorified through it? Atheists can glorify God, it's true, they just might not know it. It's amazing to me how filmmakers can portray God without portraying, well, God.
It's heartbreaking to watch a movie where the main character fumbles around in a dark world, waiting for something greater to come. It's those movies that bring an ultimate feeling of desperate brokenness. At the end of the film, all the viewer can do is sigh, wipe the tears from their face, and leave the theater feeling heavy laden. Where was God in this movie? The answer, just like always, is that He was most likely walking right beside this melancholy character begging them to simply turn around.
Eat, Pray, Love was one of these movies for me. The poor girl goes on a quest around the world and ends with nothing more than an empty soul, a few extra pounds, and a few great pictures. It's depressing. Why in the world did she feel the need to wander around the earth eating carbs and having sex? Because, she was searching for something, something greater than herself. It's that simple.
God shows up all the time. It's challenging to remove myself from my own self centeredness to actually see how God is moving all around me. We, as humans, have a difficult time identifying the face of God when we are busy, constantly moving, constantly searching. It is the moments where I put my thoughts on pause and take a quick moment to look around that I see God everywhere, moving, breathing, and begging for my attention. He's here. He showed up, just like he did yesterday, and the day before that. All I have to do is slow down and look for it. I need to recognize His beauty that He has placed all around me. It's amazing really, how unobservant we are. How much we take for granted.
God's in the movies, He's in the world, He's here.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Lovelier when Broken

At John Brown last week we talked about existentialism. This theology is basically that we as humans are just matter with no purpose and there is absolutely no God. On the way home from John Brown we began discussing how it would feel to live in a world with no purpose, and how blessed we are that life isn't this way. This got my mind thinking about how broken someone must feel if they think that there is no purpose for living their lives. I believe that God gives us all a purpose, and when we deny him, we feel purposeless because we are also denying our God-given purpose by denying Him. It's amazing the pain that comes when running from the Lord. This week the topic of brokenness has shown up all around me.
Being hurt is one of the things the world tells us we can't own. The world tells us that we have to bury our pain and put on a happy face. But there is something beautiful and a little bit miraculous about admitting defeat, and the sorrow that has taken over one's soul. Being broken isn't a rarity. Everybody has some pain that they try to hide. It is from the Lord that there is a hope for restoration and joy. Being bitter and full of sorrow and anxiety is easy. The hard thing to do, is to own your crap and push through it.
This week I have been constantly struggling with the pain of one of my best friends. We have cried, laughed, and yelled at each other out of pure frustration and healing. It's hard. I quickly found that there was nothing I could do out of my own power. Prayer was the only thing getting us through this. The honesty of prayer was  large part of our healing. It was beautiful to see the healing that came through being honest  about our struggles and the pain of getting through it all. Living in joy and restoration isn't easy, but it is beautiful. Our pain, and our brokenness is what makes all of us unique and what brings us together through Christ.
If nobody was wounded, there would be no diversity, no uniqueness, no beauty. It is pushing past this pain and taking hold of our identity in Christ that makes the body of Christ lovelier each day.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

So I went to JBU...

I had been dreading the trip to John Brown University since I first heard about it. Every time it was mentioned I had to force myself to hold back a physical grimmace. It was very clear that I did not want to go to JBU for the Link Year conference at all. The other Link Year students from Kanakuk were all going to be there. A solid group of 31 kids who all knew and loved each other. We (Cody and I) were going to be the two weird kids, knowing nobody but each other. The thought of it was dreadful. I had nightmares the entire night before, and woke up with horrible anxiety. The thought of going was eating me up. I couldn't stand it. I had a horrible attitude, but somehow, God worked around it, like He always does. I was compliant, and He was persistant.
Much to my dismay, I quickly made friends from the Kanakuk group. Cody and I weren't the outcasts after all. Conner Baxter, one of my friends that I have known since the elementary school age was there with the group from Kanakuk giving me an easy in. I was introduced to people, and soon found myself laughing and doing life with people that an hour ago were complete strangers. We had real talks, worked out (which I usually hate), and read the Bible together as if we had known each other for years. It was simple, really. I was inspired by these people who so openly put their hearts on the line. They poured into me, and I consequently had the chance to do the same. I am looking forward to seeing where these friendships will progress as all of us go on to life outside of the Link Year world.
John Brown is beautiful, by the way. I love the campus and the classroom atmosphere. If I were going to choose a college to go to, that would be it. It fits me like a glove. I have never been more proud to say that I am taking classes from such an incredible college. The professors were amazing, the student life was incredible, and I was inspired.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Ministraaayyy! (Yes, this is for a purpose)

So this past week I've finally gotten into the groove of the life of an intern and student. It's been really exciting to see how God is going to use me each day. From bouncing babies to digging through the youth ministries closet, my ministry is full of silly wonders. I've been struggling this week with having to figure out where I stand in the expected maturity for my age category. I've been questioning whether I should react to things like a boring ol' adult, or a spontaneous seventeen year old. The answer I've found somewhere in between.
I am seventeen. A perfect age, I might add. I have responsibilities, but am also expected to hula hoop in the great room and spill ramen noodles all over myself. I'm still a kid, just waiting to make yet another mistake. My youthfulness is a benefit to those around me. When working with the kids in the bilingual pre-school, I am the one they look to when a kid is about to stuff something up his nose or eat playdough. I have the grace and tenacity to dive and gently take it out of the said childs hands before disaster strikes. When tables need rolling, I'm your girl.  I successfully wobble and wince at every rolling over of my feet. I love hanging signs in the hallways. I really do. This is not sarcasm. Cleaning out the student minstry closet? No task is too big for me, the young wiggly one.
The title "intern" sounds so official. Ministry sounds so grown up. So for now, I'd like to think of myself as the Interrrnnnn!! :)))) and the work I do Ministraaayyy.

Here's to more serious matters. My internship site is pretty great. I love all the people I work with, and we work in a pretty amazing part of Tulsa. I am proud to say that I am an intern at Garnett.
Here are some of my favorite things, people, places, and things we do at Garnett:
1. Beth West-- She keeps me in line, while encouraging me to be a kids, when appropriate.
2. The Green Country Event Center- one of our largest assets, the GCEC is a large building that is used by 5 different churches, two adult ed. schools, two pre-school centers, and much more. It's kinda the bomb.
3. Cafe Mosaic- this wonderful cafe holds one thing that brings the whole Event Center together, the coffee. I love meeting all the people coming in and out. We have a blast.
4. Charlies Chicken (down the street)- This has become one of my favorite stops, the fried okra and mashed potatoes are to die for.
5. Hispanic community- we are a big fan of the hispanic community that surrounds Garnett. They make up a large part of our ministry and what we love to do.
6. ZIPLINE- Yes, friends, we have a zipline behind our church. It's kinda a big deal.
7. The Bilingual Preschool- Serving children and families in two languages. What could be better? (Atienden a los niños y las familias en dos linguas. ¿Qué podría ser mejor?)
8. Taco stands- We've made these stands/trucks a weekly venture as we hope to attend all the taco stands in East Tulsa by the end of the school year. :) The lengua tacos are the best. Trust me.
That's all that I can think of off the top of my head.
:)
 

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Speaking in Confidence

In the past few weeks I have met many people whose lives have come in contact with my own. Last week I started volunteering at the Garnett Bilingual Preschool where I've met some amazing women. I work in Ms. Carina's classroom with 1 and 2 year olds. The kids are precious and building relationships of trust with them has been a blast, but building a relationship of trust and responsibility with their teacher is what I would like to touch on.
Carina has had faith in me since the second I stepped into her classroom. She automatically handed me a book and said, "Just read it, your English is better than mine." To which I decided to take hold of the opportunity and read. She translated the things I said, and I tried my best to learn just as much as the kids were. I want to know her language. As the day progressed our stories began to slowly come out piece by piece. I told her about my passion for Guatemala and she told me about Argentina, her home country. We spent a lot of time comparing the cultures of the countries we both knew and loved. She told me about her kids, she has three boys, that are seven, four, and two. She told me how much they had blessed her and how her life changed as they continued to grow.
Our conversations were very intriguing, both of us speaking a sort of broken Spanglish. I would throw in the Spanish words I knew and fill in the gaps with the English, while she did the opposite, throwing in English when she knew I wouldn't understand. Getting to know Carina and her story has been such a blessing. God works through her everyday in the lives of the kids she works with and her own family, as well as the few conversations we have had. She told me not to be embarrased of my Spanish, but to speak it with confidence, and just hope the words come out right.
This advice relates to more than just speaking in Spanish, though. Throughout my entire life I've struggled to not be wrong. I don't care if I'm right, that doesn't matter, but if I feel like I have the chance to be wrong, most of the time, I just wont do it. Carinas simple advice to speak with confidence, and just hope the words came out right has been rolling around in my mind. She told me, "It's okay to not know, I'll understand you just like you understand me." It's okay to be wrong. The gentle love and encouragement by Carina and her collegues has been incredible to me. Without knowing it she is constantly challenging me and pushing me to put aside my pride and speak in confidence. The Lord is my strength, it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks about me or if I'm right or wrong. He loves me all the same.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Redskins for Life

In the last week, I've come to the end of a 13 year long journey which is Union Public Schools. I've worked my way up the ladder of knowledge to what many say is allowed to be the end. Today I celebrate the end of my career at Union Pubic Schools. I am picking up my diploma, hugging my teachers, and thanking God for the opportunities He has given, and the success I had in school and beyond. School was never hard for me. I was perfectly satisfied with straight B's. If I had an A, that was icing on the cake. I let myself get stressed out over things that don't and wont matter in the long run, and made friends that have constantly encouraged me in my dreams and hopefully touched a few lives in the process.
Sometimes I feel as if I've cheated the educational system by graduating early. I like to think of it as sticking it to the very large 6A man. School was never my passion. Though I had many friends, and loved my teachers, I never woke up in the morning thinking, "Today I'm going to do something great." Instead it was always, "Today will be exactly like yesterday, and the day before that." Monotony at it's finest. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE Union. I love the atmosphere of the hallways, the people I saw and talked to on a daily basis that I would have never known if I had not been put in a class with them, the pride of our dedication to sports and acedemics both, suprising, I know, and basically all of it. I love having to yell over the crowds, and smile at the people that gave me strange looks for wearing bright red overalls. Union was great. It made me the person I am today, no doubt.
Coming to the end of the road, I've had a lot of time to look back. When talking to my friends, they discuss math problems, and puns about statistics, and while that is awesome, and I'm so proud of them, I am so glad that I am not in their shoes. I have always known that I have a greater purpose than getting an education, and running the halls of Union High School, and currently, I feel like I've found it. I'm doing what I know is God's purpose for me, and while it's lonely most of the time, I know that I am in the very center of God's will. I miss my friends, but the joy that I have from spending each day doing what I love makes any of those feelings fade away.
High School was an incredible chapter in my life. The teachers at Union, and the incredible administration has blessed me completely. Without Union, I would not be the girl I am today. I've learned so much, but now it's time to move on to a greater chapter. I will always be a Union Redskin. Redskins for life.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Sharing is Caring

This Sunday I experienced something that many will never experience in the modern American church. I saw unity and strength in the hearts of a bunch of crazy kids who had maybe never met each other before. Two weeks ago Garnett and Connection Church created something beautiful and kinda crazy in the aspect of children's ministry. These two churches that are completely different came together as one through their children. A couple months ago when Connection church began discussing worshipping at the Green Country Event Center, they expressed the desire to use the children's wing for their children's ministry. Seeing that Garnett used that wing for their own kids at the exact same time, a bunch of red flags went up. Garnett's children's ministry has been struggling for the past few years, while Connection had a thriving ministry. So, it would be awkward to have two churches using the same space at the same time, wouldn't it? After a lot of discussion about the children's ministry, Garnett and Connection realized that they both were using some of the same curriculum for the children's ministry. Odd coincidence, eh? After more discussion, the two churches decided to put all their differences aside, and to combine their children's ministry. It was this combination that brought on a beautiful sight.
As i stepped through the corridor to "Kids City" I automatically lost sight of who's people were who. I'm new to the church, so I had no clue which volunteers came from which church, but at the same time, it seemed like nobody else knew either. The kids apparently didn't notice that anything was new either. They were all playing as one. I spent some time in the elementary aged kids, and they were still rowdy, and hilarious as ever.
It was really fun to see how God works through the hearts of children and the lessons we are teaching them at a young age. Through this odd combining of churches I think we are teaching our kids to share more than their toys, we are teaching them what it is like to be unified as the body of Christ. God asks us to be unified, despite denomination and petty beliefs. We are a body of believers, and I think God was smiling as he saw the kids playing with each other, and the volunteers small talking in the back of the room.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Living Among Creation

This week we were challenged to see the creation that constantly surrounds us. Not just the nature, or the people, but the creations that have been made by the people and nature surrounding us. That probably makes no sense, does it? Let me put it this way: All week long I have been surrounded by a church, a community, that has a very distinct culture. When walking through the Garnett Church of Christ office you will probably see a LOT of coffee cups laying around here and there, and a bunch of hippy looking people walking around barefoot with no makeup, and chaco tans on their feet. We don't sit in chairs the normal way, at least not when we're talking to each other casually, and different music can be heard as you pass by each office. Beth's office has the sounds of Waterdeep overflowing through her doors, while our pator, Greg, has some kind of odd tribal sounding Asian music. This at least has been my observation, I haven't asked him about his music choices, nor do I plan to, I just sit on the floor in the middle room, and marvel at the sounds all around me.
A culture has been created at Garnett that tells me that it's okay to kick off my chacos and sit sideways in my chair. The culture has been made by a certain, unique group of people that surround me every day. God created the world to have a certain majestic culture, and he created us to create more, to add to his creation with our own unique personalities. No matter how "unartistic" someone may think they are, I swear they probably don't realize that every day they make something or someone feel a certain way.
I have a friend named Kylie, she is my hero, and every time she walks through the room, no matter how chill of a mood I am in, I automatically get phyched. She walks with a little bounce in her step, and talks louder, and laughs more frequently than is necessary, but the way everyone changes when she is around shows how Kylie creates a mood everywhere she goes. When Kylie is around, everyone is free to snort when they laugh, and make strange noises when something bad happens. She brings joy to everyone in any situation. She is an artist, she creates.
The creation that surrounds me, rather often, usually goes unnoticed. Sometimes its hard to be struck by something when you see it everyday. This week, I decided to let myself get culture shock everywhere I went. I actually listened to the music playing over the speakers at Starbucks, and actually saw the people I look at almost every day. I payed attention to the details of an environment, the colors people wore in a movie, the cracks in the pavement as I walked through the park, and you know what's funny? Everything became more beautiful to me.
Creation is a part of the story that I feel many overlook. But to me, it's the most beautiful aspect of the Christian culture. I've always had an odd fascination with creation. My family has encouraged me to create, and to move since I was tiny. I grew up making up games on the trampoline, and running around the neighborhood pretending to be someone I'm not. Neither of these bits from my childhood can be hung in a frame, or pasted in a scrapbook, but it is a creation that I will never forget. My God did that.
He created something too big, and too beautiful to be put in a frame. He spent days creating a perfect creation. He didn't look at the world at the end of the sixth day and say, "Well, It's alright... I guess." No. He was proud. He said, "This is good." He was proud of his creation, and wanted to be a part of it.
Many marvel over the fact that God walked with Adam in the Garden. They can't imagine what it must be like for Adam, but what I'm wondering is how must God have felt. He was walking alongside his most beautiful and perfect creation. I hope, one day, I can know what that feels like.
Creation, it's something God didn't keep to himself. He gave us the ability to create. The ability to imagine something to be the way we think it ought to be. So why don't we all let ourselves loose to create something that we can be proud of. Something that we can look at and say, "Man, this is good."

Monday, September 19, 2011

I wills... :)

Here's my list of "I wills" for the year (yes, they are somewhat vague):
I will...
1. Be open and encouraging
2. Be okay with failure
3. Take correction with a smile
4. NOT get discouraged
5. Do my work, and do it well
6. Be thankful
7. NOT shut down when things get hard
8. Pray continuously
9. Do well in my classes, and not freak out
10. Grow closer to Christ and do everything I can to actively prepare for my future
11. Not let my relationships with friends and family slip away
12. Work hard
13. Be moldable

Friday, September 16, 2011

Site Search

Today Cody, the other Link Year student, and I had the pleasure of spending the day in the car. We drove to about 15 different sites to talk to the Volunteer Coordinators at each site. It was a grueling experience, to be completely honest. We bonded through our exhaustion and frustration, all day long. I have to admit, though, that my favorite part of the day was asking the person we talked to if we could take a picture with them. To which we received many crazy and confused faces, and lots of awkward giggles. Each time it went about like this: "Thank you so much for your help, oh, I know this is kinda weird, but can I take a picture with you?" "You're so wel-- uh, wait, you want a picture with me?" "Yeah, I know its kinda silly, we just need a little proof that we came to see you today." "Oh, then, uh, yeah, sure, lets stand in front of this strange monument, that proves that this is where you are" "oh, yeah! Okay, awesome, thank you so much."
A couple of the ladies volunteered someone else in the office to jump in the picture to take thier place, and once, maybe twice, they were so excited about taking a picture with us they could barely stand it. The reactions to our questions were hilarious. It made my day every time.
Today definitely challenged the both of us with being comfortable with being uncomfortable. I swear, I am the most awkward person on the phone that ever existed. Lots of rambling, so much so, that I could almost hear the people rolling thier eyes and making annoyed faces. Before I hung up the phone each time I almost felt the need to formally apologize for my phone talking inadequacy. I was horrible at it, but it was funny for Cody at least.
Speaking of Cody, his driving skills could use a little work. Dear Cody is a little unpracticed in driving downtown, so we spent a lot of time driving in circles, and gritting our teath as we tested out Codys anti-lock break system. It was.. awesome? I feared for my life just a little bit.
What I'm getting at, is that today was tough, exhausting, and a little awkward most of the time, but fun, in some crazy definition of the word.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Day One-- The Start

Today was the first official day of Tulsa Link Year. Going into this, I had no clue what to expect, and frankly, I am still clueless. Today, if anything, just made me more anxious about the next 9 months. I don't really know what's coming to me, but I do know that this is what God has asked me to do.

Chris King, our fearless leader, opened up our orientation this morning with the question "How might this meeting Change Tulsa or the World?" I sat there in a still silence for a few minutes as I continued to roll the question around in my head. I couldn't come up with a decent answer for the life of me, and definitely didn't just want to spit out some random drivel, so I sat, and thought. Eventually, I decided I just didn't understand exactly what the question was asking. I was okay with that for a timme, but as the day went on, this question seemed to follow me around.

At around noon we found ourselves sitting next to what once was a fountain next to Tulsa's City Hall. As I sat down and clumsily kicked off my chacos the question rang in my mind. "How might this meeting change Tulsa or the World?" I came to the near conclusion that maybe this meeting would lead to inspiration, or maybe just a little push from behind that would somehow reach someone... someday. I'm sorry to inform you, I'm not an optimist, my friends. What I soon came to realize, though, is that our meeting may simply be the start, the gathering, of a few people who over the next months would be city or world changers. This day would be remembered as the beginning of sommething great. The start of something better than we could ever imagine.

Every influential group in the history of man had to have a Day One. There was a beginning, at some point, where a group of people came together for the first time. I feel like today was that day. Today was the start of something good, the start of a passion, a love for a city, a state, a country, a world.