Every year I make all these outrageous New Years resolutions to finally start working out (which has been on my resolution list for the last 3 years), and all kinds of things that in the end cannot be accomplished without wasting the rest of my free time for the matter of doing all the things I thought would make myself a better person. I start the year wasting my valuable time with my friends so I can sweat to a Jillian Michaels' work out video then clean my room in the attempt to "live an organized life" (what does that even mean little 15 year old self?) etc. So, instead, in an attempt to actually live the life I have always wanted and not live by this crap checklist that I've made for myself, I have bid my stupid resolutions adieu and just starting being the woman God has made me to be. It's quite freeing, actually.
I always made fun of those people that talk like a new year brings a new person or that the struggles of the last year suddenly disappear with a date change, but oddly, my year happened to begin with many "fresh starts". As the clock struck twelve, my heart began to grow lighter, and I began to rejoice over the little things and let God handle the big things. As I have written in my previous posts, I often find myself under the impression that I can carry the world on my shoulders all alone, but the honest to God truth is that that is just straight up dumb. This year, my heart will be light, while my burdens will be many. It will be the year of constant adventure, exciting change, and heartbreaking goodbyes.
I'm one of those people that has never been afraid to show my emotions. I cry in public often, and laugh hysterically when appropriate. So the emotions that come with moving away and starting a fresh new life are abundant. I am scared to death, yet I have never been more anxious and excited. This year is going to force me to grow up. I will live in the moment every moment, because I know that if I let myself, I will spend my valuable time looking towards the past or future, which is almost as great a waste as working out or cleaning my room just because I told myself I have to.
So Hear's to the new year. Here's to growing up. Here's to learning new things. Here's to adventure. Here's to being the woman I was made to be.
Mumford and Sons basically defines my life these days. So here's a little taste.
